If your life has changed because you’re starting over after your husband’s, then certainly your holidays will change. I hope you’ll experience the very presence of God, upholding you, comforting you, and giving you strength for each new day. You’re young to be a widow, and your loss may affect your beliefs, faith, and relationship with God. How is your relationship with God? Faith is a key factor in the grief process, especially when you’re starting over in your 60s.
He will never again be part of the celebrations and traditions. Your memories of the past magnify your loss, and make your husband’s death all the more real and painful. Grief is heightened over holiday seasons and celebrations because of the memories and the family traditions. If the holidays are approaching – or an anniversary or birthday – your grief may intensify. Prepare for the painful hurdle of holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays This can lead to anxiety and avoidance, which may prolong the healing process. Starting over in the second half of your life is more stressful and difficult for many women. How are you experiencing grief? While there is no one right or typical way to grieve as a widow, many women respond in similar ways. Avoidance and anxiety eventually can lead to states of anxious withdrawal since the world has become such a frightening, unpredictable place.” Research has shown that widows whose husbands died suddenly are slower to move toward remarriage, since they are unwilling to risk future unanticipated loss again for themselves and their children. You may always await another loss to befall. “After all, you have been taught a dramatic lesson: Loved ones can be snatched away without warning. “You may feel a profound loss of security and confidence in the world ,” writes Dr Therese Rando in Comfort and Hope When You Feel Old and Alone. Starting Over in Your 60s After Your Husband Dies Learn what to expect emotionally when you’re grieving as a widow As you go through the grieving process, give yourself time and space to think about how you’re going to spend the next half of your life. When you’re starting over in your 60s, allow yourself to play with the idea that a new season of your life is beginning – and it may not be as lonely or difficult as you think. Other women want everything to stay exactly the same. Some people change everything about their lives – they move, go back to school, travel, or quit their jobs. Remember that every widow processes grief differently. If you haven’t visited a grief group for widows starting over in their 60s, look for support groups in your area. I facilitated a variety of support groups while getting my Master of Social Work, and was amazed by the power of support groups to help women grieve, cope, and heal. A support group can offer in-person comfort and connection through the grieving process, and you may meet other women who know exactly how it feels to start over as a widow.
You might find grief support groups to be helpful as well – especially if you live alone or spend a great deal of time on your own. Through moving stories of her encounters with grief over decades of supporting individuals, families, and communities – as well as her own experience with loss – Joanne opens a space to process, integrate, and deeply honor grief. Joanne is a bereavement educator, researcher, Zen priest, and leading counselor in the field of grieving and healing. In Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief, Joanne Cacciatore accompanies readers along the heartbreaking path of love, loss, and grief. Reading books can help you cope after your husband dies. There is a wellspring of hope and healing hidden in you…and it will bubble up again! Here are a few tips for starting over and rebuilding your life after the death of your husband. “It’s never too late – never too late to start over, never too late to be happy,” Jane Fonda once said. When you’re starting over after sixty – especially when you feel like no one cares that your husband died – remember that you won’t always feel this way.
0 kommentar(er)
